The 7th season of League of Extraordinary Dick's Football has begun! With the draft results in the book, teams are already looking for any early advantage to get their squads a week one win. Let's take an early look at how I expect the divisions to shake out this season.
APPAREL DIVISION
- Chicken Little Flea Flicker - Kicking things off is our defending champion, Sarah Meads. Chicken Little is back with a well balanced team featuring a stud at four different positions (QB, RB, WR, TE) . Led by Giants rookie RB, Saquon Barkley, and Seattle QB, Russell Wilson, this team is ready to put up points in bunches. The only weak spot on this team is the bench. With only boom-or-bust WR, Emmanual Sanders, on the roster, Chicken Little needs to stay healthy if they hope to make a deep run.
- Dirty Skiveys - Lottery winner, Joe Vanskiver, made it known early that he was not happy with the #1 overall spot. But he was able to grab 2017 MVP Todd Gurley with the first pick and and pair him with Buffalo's only offensive weapon, LeSean McCoy. Next to the RBs, there isn't too much to write home about. Mike Evans has potential to be a top 5 receiver, but will be without his QB1 for the first three weeks. Will JuJu Smith-Schuster be the breakout star he was last year with James Washington now in the picture? The Skiveys do have a very promising bench with a lot of pieces that could be used for trades.
- Player Haters - Sorry, Matt -- but consider this writer one of your haters. While Yahoo is all aboard the Matt Douthit hype train, I'm not buying it. While any team that has Aaron Rodgers is going to compete, A-a-ron, can't do it all by himself. The Haters are counting on Andy Reid to get out of his own way and force feed the rock to Kareem Hunt -- something he inexplicably stopped doing in the middle of Hunt's breakout season. Kenyan Drake is a player that I hated to hate coming into this season. He's a gifted back on a horrible offense. When the Dolphins are trying to play catch-up, I don't expect him to get the carriers he deserves. Michael Thomas is a fantasy stud and should reward the Haters every week. They just better pray it's enough.
- Steel City - Former league champion, Chris Shackelford, should have a lot of optimism when it comes to his squad. This roster could be very dangerous if Deshaun Watson is able to do even half of what he did last season. Led by the league's best receiver, Antonio Brown, this team will become a tough out when suspended RB, Mark Ingram, teams up with Watson, Brown, and TE Rob Gronkowski. There is also very good depth on the bench. If Shack plays his cards right, this team is set up to return to the playoffs.
Projected Finish:
1.Chicken Little Flea Flicker
2. Steel City
3. Player Haters
4. Dirty Skiveys
LODGE DIVISION
- All Dem TD's - In most cases, drafting from the 12th position isn't ideal. Coach Dexter Allen and ALL DEM TD's made the best of a tough situation though. I like this team -- and they have the talent to pull off some upsets. But there are a lot of unknowns to be confident in them. Led by RB Dalvin Cook, TD's will rest their season on Cook's newly repaired knee. Add that with current reserve RB Rashaad Penny, and this stable of horses should carry Dex all season. There are questions surrounding the wide outs here, too. Will Matt Ryan finally look to Julio Jones in the red zone? Will Andrew Luck return's get T.Y. Hilton back to the top of the receiving ranks? Only time will tell... Unfortunately, this team has a low floor-high ceiling. We'll have to evaluate them each week.
- Cris Carter's Fall Guys - Brendan Florian and The Fall Guys have come back with a vengeance this year and are looking to prove they belonged in the playoffs last year. With arguably the best draft of the night, this team is well rounded at every position. Le'Veon Bell leads the running back group which includes Joe Mixon and Adrian Peterson, but if Bell doesn't show up on time, there's no need to worry. Brendan had the foresight to draft James Conner with his very last pick. Add in deep threat of Keenan Allen and sure-handed Larry Fitzgerald, and this team is an early favorite.
- 4th and Schlong - I'm not sure 4th & Schlong head coach, Kellen Willams, was expecting the draft to break the way it did, but it may end up working out well in his favor. By locking up two of the top three receivers in DeAndre Hopkins and Odell Beckham, Jr., this teams game plan is to beat you through the air. Matt Stafford looks to add to those numbers, as well as pass-catching RB Dion Lewis. Kellen definitely didn't follow fantasy's conventional wisdom of strong running backs, but it may not matter with high volume receivers littering the roster.
- Huge Hefner - The LED's only two-time champion is hungry for more after falling short to Todd Gurley in Dick's Super Game VI. Russ Alkire and Huge Hefner doubled-down on a pair of NFC South running backs in Alvin Kamara and Devonta Freeman to carry him throughout the season. Cam Newton currently has the best weapons of his career and looks to return to MVP form, while Aaron Rodgers looks to revitalized Jimmy Graham in Green Bay. But it's well-known that Russ likes to build his team through the season. This may not be the best roster in the division, but I suspect it'll be improved by the end of the season. I'm not betting against the man with the hardware.
Projected Finish:
1. Huge Hefner
2. Cris Carter's Fall Guys
3. 4th & Schlong
4. All Dem TD's
TEAM SPORTS DIVISION
- Cam Newton's Law - Despite drunkenly giving away the rights to his 6th round pick, Cody Luck and Cam Newton's Law kept it simple this year. A solid running back core of pass-catching running backs in Melvin Gordon and Christian McCaffery, and up-and-coming TE Trey Burton should contribute weekly. But does Drew Brees have anything left in the take or will he rely on his run game all season? A serviceable receiving corp led by WR Amari Cooper round out a competitive roster.
- Grizzly Adams Beards - Another questionable team this season. Coach Drew Riley and Grizzly Adams Beards swung big for his first two rounds and landed workhorse RBs Leonard Fournette and Jordan Howard. But then things start to become unclear. Led by undefeated, but largely unproven, QB Jimmy Garoppolo, this team has a long of question marks: Is Greg Olsen back to form after his foot injury? Will Damaryius Thomas click with a new QB in Denver? Are there enough footballs to go around for Brandin Cooks? The bench is pretty decent, but Coach Riley will have his work cut out for him this year.
- Pee In Yo Corn Flakes! - After years of bottom feeding, Michael Zaino and Pee In Yo Corn Flakes! appear to be set up for another year of dominance in the Team Sports division. With a full season ahead of Ezekiel Elliot and an angry Tom Brady at the helm, this roster is loaded with talent. A.J. Green looks to bounce back, and Jarvis Landry is looking to "bless" the AFC North -- both elite level talents. Even the bench spots are something to be envy of with Randall Cobb and Carson Wentz as security blankets.
- Shiva Kamini! - Coach Vivek Mistry put together a much improved roster for Shiva Kamini this season. A solid running back due of David Johnson and Marshawn Lynch, should combine for above average each week, and a trio of receivers in Stefon Diggs, Tyreek Hill, and Golden Tate that should push him across the finish line each week. A playoff berth is possible, but it'll have to be earned in this tough division.
Projected Finish:
1. Pee In Yo Corn Flakes!
2. Cam Newton's Law
3. Shiva Kamini!
4. Grizzly Adams Beards